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I have glimpsed the future... and it's one COLD mutha! This afternoon, rising from my Mac-lighted veal-fatting pen, a laserbeam shot through the window directly into my eyesocket... a "last tag" from the sun, as it deflated into a diluted lemon horizon. Not the kind of sunset typical of August. In a blink, the weather has done a 180 on me. I must've seriously overslept last night... like 'til October... because IT IS FUCKING FREEZING! Granted, the AC's usually cranked up to "Arctic" in the office, cold enough to hang sides of beef on the hottest days, but... this is fingers-toes-gonads chilling. Inside and outside. Got me tapdancing under the table to keep my feet warm, though I'm wearing wool socks and leather hiking boots. Now, I'm blessed with chilly nekkid kneecaps... since I didn't anticipate bringing jeans with me on Monday. It WAS damn near one hundred degrees at the time, but now even the bugs are dazed. O' course this makes me sound like a major candy-ass. Especially since my grandad (on my mother's side) was from Finland, and didn't immigrate until he was in his teens. I'm afraid that the frigid weather appreciation gene must've mutated when it filtered down to me. Though, it should be mentioned that he did retire to Forida in his later years. This, too, shall pass... but the writing's on the wall. Summer won't last forever. Should never have typed out the word, "gonads." It's words like these that makes you wonder who is in charge of naming things for the dictionary. "Hmm... what word for 'doo-dads' is less likely to cause giggling in Health class? Ahah! 'Gonads'!" Somebody should have clued in the cream hair removal people before they started marketing "Nads" on television. Conjures up a hellish picture... and makes it hard to sit down. Naturally, my imagination takes a whole different slant on the subject: "Crimefighting Champions of Justice... Rising Up Against Impossible Adversaries... Absorbing Agents of Iniquity... Squeezing Out Evil from Society's Underbelly... ...It's the Go-Nads!" The chill has affected my brain. It'll affect my nads, pretty soon... 'cause the road is calling me. |
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