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Two AM, Monday morning... and I'm fighting sleep. I'd much rather shuffle to the fridge for something dark and malty, turn some music on, kickstart this imagination... but it's that total quiet that only the crossover from weekend to work week can conjure. Absolute. Ordained. Come morning, I'll make a call to bossman to find out if they can do without me. Not because there's some exciting, outrageous plans... but because there's eighty-four pepper plants still on the porch. Making the yard socially acceptable (and less marshland-like) devoured most of the afternoon. I did find time to examine the gardens... either slimy or tick-infested. But the time is now... while the sun cooperates. Responsibility versus slacker time. The former beats the latter in the "taking care of living things" category. Ah, fleeting vacation days. How fragile they are. I can't remember the last time I used one for adventure. I keep remembering this line from a film, this weekend. Basically, some guy was being lectured about his broken heart... "the problem with you is, you only see what you want... not what you have." That stings. It's brutally true, with me. There's all this... stuff. It should be enough. WAY more than enough. A life where I don't have to worry much about starving, I'm still healthy, each day a possiblity to reinvent. That's where the sticking point is... amidst all of this complacence, there's this need to make something happen, shed a dying skin, get on with the point. Whatever that is. Awaiting revelation anytime, please. Will it be there in the silence, with my eyes wide open? |
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