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Day three of the monsoon... though monsoons aren't this cold. Or so I would imagine. Even the birds, which I was watching from the balcony with my first smoke and coffee, seemed to be dazed with a "what the fuck?!" attitude. Not unlike me. Motherfucker Forecast: April. 41? F. 70% probability of rain for the next two days. And how many layers to stay warm? Wifebeater (i like 'em because they're tacky... they grew on me after a '20s deco dance), Long-sleeve t-shirt, Korean National Soccer jersey, turtleneck sweatshirt, fleece jacket, rainproof shell. Ridiculous. There's not enough room in the car for all this shit. I keep trying to carb up to warm internally. It's not reaching my toes. I'm thinking a shot of Meyers' Dark Rum might speed the process... but that's 84 miles and seven-hours away. I just might whittle the time down some... but Miss Jane lets in Jeh0vah's Witnesses on Wednesday. Haveta stall.... This reminds me... wasn't "Jehovah" one of the names-that-must-not-be-uttered (like YHWY), for fear of eternal damnation? Have they found a loophole in the commandments? Who thinks of this crap? I am so tempted to construct a montrous dildo (with a 12-volt car battery attached... and a "Katherine The Great" logo?), and hide it in-plain-sight for the Wednesday festivities. But that would be cruel. I guess I've already sinned in my heart, though. She leaves to visit her daughter, again, this weekend... so Saturday is this formless mass, days away. Maybe I'll just get plastered, and watch some movies. How lame. (Two Hours later) This all sounds very trite and frivolous, now that I know that someoneis hurting. The remoteness, the distance, really sucks beyond belief. There are no written words that can repair or enlighten when the blackness comes. What's worse, to feel nothing, or too much? Neither give you peace. Here I sit, with a belly full of scallop, yellowtail, uni, and a little sake... and I wish i could transfer the warm feeling to where it's needed most. Perhaps it may happen, yet. |
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