any day i get to wear shorts, and no shoes, is a good day. i previously referred to yesterday as "KissUp Day", jokingly. true, i mended fences with Moms that i didn't break, so to speak... and all's right with her. lawn tidy, wildness trimmed, ego soothed. the odd part was traveling up the drive, and being hailed by the sheepherder... who employed some practiced butt-kissing of his own. he probably got the idea that i was pissed that his mentor built a fence on what will be my driveway (if the fates allow). he spent forty minutes assuring me that it wasn't his idea. so, perhaps it was not so much a "kissing" as a "smoke-blowing". whatever. i'm not playing this game. i've still got my surveyors' maps. and i'll outlive that grabby old rich motherfucker. again, if the fates allow. i was making my way back home and got a call from Yoko, wanting to know where i was... "why, at the giant chicken lawn ornament place, of course". which was true: ...of course, by "giant" i mean four feet tall. though, by the looks of it, it's time to get the fairies to drop a dime on Mothra. and, to illustrate that no good deed goes unpunished... i was going to cover the Miata back up, since i had no time to spare on the bodywork. opened the door, and was greeted by this little masterpiece, created, probably, by that mouse that i spared, last week: "rodently-chewed, mouse-masticated... in short, eaten by rats." EricIdle's immortal words from the Rutles film is all that spared some little grey ass from instant annihilation.. but if i see the giant rat costume at ChuckE.Cheese's... somebody's nuts will be pulsating. |
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