13 July, 2005
can't get there from here

attempting to get anything written for the past couple of days can be illustrated by the herculean efforts expended as i tried to get to a warm bed, last night.

try as i might, there was no possible way i could pry myself out of my cell until nearly forty-five minutes after shift's end. and it was work that kept me, too. damnitalltoHell. nagging, last minute crap.

it was an ultimate relief to walk outside, even though it felt like wading through Satan's bathwater... plopping into the drivers' seat, and hearing blues music bop from the speakers. ignition on, i swept through the lot, an onto the parkway... to the stoplight.

from HELL!

ten minutes, i sat there. meager traffic surging past, stopping, turning... while my side remained red. unblinking eye of the camera fixed upon me. me, fuming. cursing at nothing.

when, at last, the fates too pity on me. for a short while.

miles away, onto the toll road, i'd already dug into my pocket for the fifty cents... rolled slowly to the filthy basket that funneled down my quarters into the clanking belly. and nothing. turnstile still down.
another fifty. nothing.
by this time, i was raging... TasmanianDevil-style.

i backed up, swung around to the adjoining stile, dropped in my last fifty cents... and i was gone.

a half-hour later.

fits and starts. my writing, in a nutshell. my bizarre life.

how bizarre, you may ask? almost a bizarre as this

.