02 November, 2004
needles and pins... ah

i do solemnly swear, i will never be oblivious about politics, again.
people that pontificate at length on their personal soapboxes are some boring motherfuckers, or so i have believed. shit, i still believe that. one lesson learned, though... if you don't apply constant pressure on the legislative elite, they will fuck you, thoroughly.
therefore, no longer will i slack on my current events. hanging with the English will cure you of ignorance, quickly, from the shame of it all.
what the world needs now, is another boring motherfucker.

so.

tomorrow, this time, the jig will be up. and, thank gawd for that. it's been months of fretting and cajoling and ante-ing up and hoping beyond all hope that sanity will somehow yet reign, and the be-suited barbarians will be sent back home to Wyoming or Texas or Maine or SaudiArabia or whoever will have them... and real people can get their country (and dignity) back.
it's a nice dream to aspire to, at least.

after all of this mental activity, this will be one hell of a deflation. it's been bad enough, since housepainting's all but done. Sherlock's got nothing on my workaholism, or the aftereffects... those effects being sloth to the ninth degree. if it's possible to keep one overreaching project in play at a time, i prosper. physically, mentally, otherwise. throw in two weeks of gloom and sunlessness, and the atrophy sets in. add, also, a spouse that watches every move and insists upon assignments rather than finding projects or friends or employment of her own. this is one shitty recipe.
so much so, that i was toying with the idea of driving home just to have one day where i didn't have eyes boring into me, judging me... a day that i could let the stereo blast, make all the noise necessary to get things done or to do absolutely nothing. perhaps, in the silence, forge a path forward. 'cause i've got to get something moving, or wilt in the face of all the endless little nagging tasks that seem to be building up. maybe, just maybe, find a foothold where the aesthetic things might get some breathing room, before they all crumble into dust.

let's just see where tomorrow takes us, first.

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