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(adj): the inability to release any words from the brain, due to excessive mental activity. whaddaya know, i done made up a word. this term accurately describes the state that i found myself in last night. like the king of wretched excess, i was sitting with bleary eyes, laptop perched on my knees... completely unable to put together two words that were not either total shite or in a language that was understandable. it was difficult to accept. as if there was nothing to ruminate upon on the last few walks around this ball of confusion... cuz "that's what the world is today, hey-hey." i'd just blown off the offer of the ArsenalvsCharlton match and blues afterwards, so kindly offered by Biggles. a week of system meltdowns (9.5 on the Rectum Scale), frenzied activity throwing together a marathon show that i really didn't want to do (though it was suggested as a good fund-raiser by the Rock ayatollah), JesusFreaks going wild in the streets, and the usual political smokescreen... it's not as if subject matter was a problem. rather, my choice of antidote may have been the sticking point. too much for the brain? go out and spend a day in physical activity. so, i did. reeking of two-stroke-saw-smoke... vibrated into a state of stupor by chainsaw-brushcutter-machete, i assaulted the woods in my last ditch effort of making my driveway/homesite wishes obvious, before the heavy equipment begins it's juggernaut progress up the right-of-way. with the trees still bare, before the feral sap wakes in the poison ivy, the time for action is here... also, the time to write a big-ass check. since Jamaica has been postponed for yet another indefinite period, focus is imperative. anyone who knows me, knows that this is not always my strong point. but, i'm beginning to inch the volvo slowly up the hand-hewn path... able to get the perspective through the windshield of what the trip to the top of the mountain might actually look like. inspiration+perspiration=results. feh... at least i'm able to control something. can't make people see reason that Hollywood does not equal historical truth... or that "when you stand for nothing, you'l fall for anything"... or that i can't spend entire weekends away from my (sole) responsibilities, fixing my stepdaughter's life... or that i don't like misogynistic/materialistic dancehall music (that, thankfully, my turntable-focused bling-bling buddy programmed, while i did the on-air cajoling). modifying the landscape... well, i see results there. guess i'm not "conflictipated", anymore. also... how about you googlers leaving a "howdy" in the guestbook, so i know who my stream-of-consciousness is afflicting? |
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