28 September, 2004
blasphemous rumours

i was champing at the bit to paint, in massive detail, some mental pictures as that last Friday progressed into a life-changing one.
not terribly so, personally.
the real action was happening eighty-four miles away.
foolishly, i decided to look into the guestbook before getting into the meat of the writing. lo, and behold, judgment awaited... in this comment:

If you're indifferent to God, c'est la guerre. Maybe... possibly... my URL will help you get the most outta your Finite Existence so I don't fear for your soul.

slammed on my brakes, obviously.

now, i don't know how this person arrived at this shabby little corner of the universe, nor am i sure what particularly provoked the fire and brimstone. nevertheless, i felt blindsided at the time... probably the reaction that was desired.
that was replaced by indignation, not long after.
obviously, there was something among the cathartic bloodlettings that this journal can be that inferred "indifference" to something bigger than me. if faith means never doubting yourself, there would be even more dangerously pompous fools than those that presume to lead us into harm's way on a daily basis. doubt breeds consideration breeds understanding breeds resolution breeds enlightenment.

if you don't doubt, or question, you never learn.

amongst the determining factors that led me away from "organized" religion:
hypocrisy, and its mantra... "don't do as i do, do as i say." the Vatican has got its hands full with that one. back when i actually went to church, it was sobering to witness a constant cavalcade of parishioners walking the straight-and-narrow on Sunday, and seeing them back-to-business on Monday.
intolerance... whenever one group of people consider themselves the "Chosen Few". it is my belief that more blood has been shed over that concept than any other. this world is full of so many people that it beggars belief that only one bunch corners the market in blissful eternity. there are plenty of Buddhists, Shinto, Islamic, fill-in-the-blank folks that live their lives reverently, "doing unto others" and generally making the best of the pain that everyone endures and the good things everyone should acknowledge... it would be at the very least unfair for that to count for nothing.
faith, wherever it comes from... is all we have.
piety. the dark matter that Inquisitions are made of. living in what is considered the "South", this kind of offhand, dismissive judgment is hard to escape. lily-white, over-perfumed, snidely superior, self-aggrandizing... won't it be a slap in the face, to say the least, if those who think they know the rules, find out the price for judging someone else in final reckoning?
bile... that's what i was tasting.

curiosity getting the better of me, i looked at this URL that was supposed to "fix" me... and immediately calmed. so, it was just a lunatic, after all.
but it made me question.
and learn.
and get a grip.

and get on with it.

.